What’s the impact of migration on you and the family left behind? Like other immigrants, this is probably one of the questions you’ve grappled with. How do you stay connected with your family back ‌ home? How do you take part in important family traditions, and remain rooted?

At Remitly, we bridge the distance between you and your family by helping you send money within minutes to participate in important family functions and everyday life. We also offer resources and information on maintaining family ties beyond borders. Let’s see how.

The highs and lows of moving abroad

Relocating to the UK can be an exciting opportunity, whether you’re pursuing new career prospects, higher education, a fresh start, or even a new relationship. Wherever you decide to move, there are plenty of chances for personal growth in a dynamic, multicultural environment. However, adjusting to life in a new country comes with its challenges, such as financial instability, adapting to unfamiliar surroundings, building new social connections, and maintaining strong ties with family and friends back home. 

Understanding the importance of family connections

The quality of family connections has a direct impact on different aspects of your health. Studies show family relationships affect your psychosocial, behavioural, and physiological well-being.

Further, studies report that 15.6% of immigrants are depressed. Risk factors and triggers include your age at immigration, loneliness, and disconnected family relationships.

Maintaining healthy family connections can help avoid or reduce your risk of depression. However, maintaining these ties can be difficult.

Challenges of maintaining family ties from abroad

You’ll likely face these barriers when trying to maintain family ties from abroad:

• Out of sight, out of mind: Psychologically, people tend to stop thinking about someone when they don’t see them for a while. Staying in touch regularly through video calls, text messages, and social media can help bridge the gap. 
• Time difference: Being in different time zones and having busy schedules can pose an extra challenge. One approach is to schedule regular contact times to ensure more frequent calls and chats. 
• Physical separation: Digitally attending important family functions such as festivals, weddings, and birthdays doesn’t feel the same as being physically present. If you are able to travel home occasionally, especially for an important event, this can help maintain ties.

The emotional impact of distance on family relationships

Being intentional about communication and connection with family can help avoid the following negative emotional impacts:

• Poor academic performance: Being in an unfamiliar place, away from family, may cause difficult emotions, especially for young people. The transition can impact their grades negatively.
• Uncontrolled emotions: In extreme cases, unpleasant emotions such as sadness escalate into chronic stress, depression, and severe anxiety.
• Disconnection: Video chatting and texting don’t make up for physical interactions. Being away can mean increasingly being out of the inner circle and feeling less connected.
• Strained marriages: Geographically separated couples face a host of challenges in maintaining their closeness.

While this list may sound overwhelming, don’t give up yet. There are ways to overcome the barriers and challenges.

Keeping in touch with technology

Technology is your best bet for enjoying a fulfilling relationship with your loved ones when living abroad. Luckily, there are loads of communication and messaging apps to help you stay in touch.

Popular communication apps and platforms

Most messaging apps today have mobile-phone-based and web-based versions, so you can keep in touch all day, whether you’re in front of the computer or on the move.

The most popular communication apps and platforms you can use to speak to your family back home are:

• WhatsApp
• Zoom
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Gmail
• Snapchat
• Telegram
• Skype
• Viber
• FaceTime

These platforms are free. You only need to pay for the internet and invest in a smartphone or computer.

Leveraging technology to bridge the distance

You can use technology in different and creative ways to connect with loved ones. Beyond video calls and phone calls, try these ideas:

• Social media posts: Social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram allow you to involve family and friends in your new experiences by posting photos and videos with captions. 
• Social media stories: Social media posts last as long as you let them on your profile. Conversely, social media stories are 24-hour-long uploads. You can use them to share fun and important events about your day, and make announcements.
• Going live: You can interact with your family and friends in real-time, by going live on social media. A private profile limits your viewers to the people you’ve connected with. A public profile is accessible to anyone.
• Sending emails: You can use platforms and apps like Gmail to send emails to your loved ones. You’ll need to create an email address and know the intended recipient’s email address.
• Sending voice notes: Use communication tools like WhatsApp and Instagram if you hate typing messages or sending videos. To record a voice note, tap the speaker button, speak, and send it to your loved ones.
• WhatsApp status updates: WhatsApp status updates are the equivalent of Facebook and Instagram stories. Post an update, and choose who can see it. There’s no limit on the number and frequency of updates you can share.
• Create groups: Most communication platforms like WhatsApp, Facebook, and Instagram allow you to create groups for messages or calls. Think of it as one large virtual gathering or conversation. You can try creating different groups, such as a cousins-only group and a full extended family group including grandparents.

Scheduling regular family virtual gatherings

Time differences and distance are major hindrances to family gatherings. Be intentional. Schedule a convenient time for the family to meet and celebrate special occasions remotely.

Free tools and technologies you can use to facilitate these meetings are:

• Google Meet
• Zoom
• Skype
• Slack

These tools not only make it easier to connect, but also help keep ‌meetings private and secure because only invited people can access your get-together.

Building a supportive community abroad

Tools and technology bring your family and loved ones closer to you. But remember that there’s a new life to build abroad. Building a supportive community in your new home is also essential for your mental and social well-being. It positively impacts your sense of community, general health, and life satisfaction. Here’s how to thrive:

Join expats and local cultural groups

Connecting with fellow expats is simple.

• Find and connect with fellow expats in your area using social media or search engines like Google or Facebook to find an expat community near you.
• Join and participate in events and hobbies to immerse yourself in the new life and form new friendships.
• Share your experiences.
• Attend local events to appreciate the local culture. You’ll most likely meet fellow expats there.
• Seek advice on special forums and forum-style websites such as Expat.com, Reddit, Quora, and InterNations.
• Ask questions.
• Gain more support by interacting with the community.

Wisdom from the community – sharing experiences and tips

You’ll quickly realise that although you’re from different countries and cultures, expats have a lot in common. Be an active member of the community by participating in events, fundraisers, and campaigns.

A few ways to share experiences include:

• Discussing challenges you face
• Learning local customs
• Discussing hacks for fitting in and embracing cultural differences
• Sharing professional opportunities and information on conditions and wages
• Sharing tips like where to get good deals, essential apps to use, and local services available for immigrants

Balancing new relationships with family ties

Being actively involved with your local immigrant community will improve your overall well-being. But that doesn’t mean you’ll stop missing your family.

Maintaining both relationships is crucial to living a fulfilling life as an immigrant. Here’s how to find a balance between the new relationships you’ve formed and your family back at home:

• Dedicate quality time for both relationships and be actively present when interacting to get the most out of your time.
• Ensure that both parties feel valued.
• Manage your expectations. For example, be understanding when either party is unavailable during the time you’ve allocated them. Adapt and be flexible. You can always reschedule a meet-up.
• Maintain boundaries to remain authentic to yourself and maintain healthy relationships.

Coping mechanisms for missing your family

Despite leveraging technology and balancing relationships with your UK community and family at home, you’ll still find yourself missing family. Here’s how to cope.

Dealing with homesickness and loneliness

Homesickness and loneliness can cause strong emotional distress. If you’re experiencing this, speak to a trusted family member who can check in on you frequently. Also, consider scheduling therapy sessions to learn coping mechanisms professionally tailored to your situation.

If you can afford it and the immigration laws allow, visit your home more often. Invite your family over to share the UK experience with them. This will help you feel more connected to home.

Creating a sense of home in your new environment

You can also deal with homesickness by creating a familiar space around you:

• Buy from immigrant shops that sell items from your home country.
• Celebrate holidays from your home country. Find fellow countrymen within your immigrant community to celebrate with. Invite friends from other countries to experience your culture.
• Bring a few keepsakes from home — things that remind you of loved ones or treasured moments.
• Home-cook your favourite native meals.

Understanding and managing emotional highs and lows

Actively work on your personal development to deal with the emotional rollercoaster. Understand and manage your emotional highs and lows using these strategies:

• Identify your triggers.
• Be very aware and intentional in recognising your emotions as they change.
• Accept that these changes are normal.
• Practise your coping mechanisms such as deep breathing, meditating, going for a walk, or calling a close friend.
• Call your therapist if it’s more than you can handle.

Long-term strategies for sustaining family relationships

Fortunately, as you settle in and form new connections, homesickness fades away. Still, you’ll need to sustain your family relationships back at home. Here are some ideas for the longer term:

• Plan regular physical visits: Regularly visit your family back at home. Pro tip: travel during low season for international travel, which is typically late fall through early spring in the UK.

• Engage in family projects or hobbies: Take part in activities together to maintain the connection and give you a shared goal to work towards.

• Stay committed to open and honest communication: The challenges of being away from home mainly affect your mental well-being. Commit to an open and honest conversation with your loved ones so that they know how you’re doing.

There are many ways to cope with the challenges of living abroad, including finding local communities and leveraging technology to feel closer to those back home. And if things feel really difficult, it may help to plan a visit home, rejuvenate, and then come back to the UK to keep building your new life.

FAQ

What is the importance of family connections when living abroad?

Healthy family relationships positively affect psychosocial, behavioural, and physiological well-being. They reduce the risks of depression, loneliness, sadness, and disconnection.

What are the challenges of maintaining family connections?

Physical separation creates a challenge for staying connected, and time differences may make it difficult to get in contact.

How do you maintain family connections as a UK immigrant?

Technology can help bridge the gap between you and your family. Applications such as WhatsApp, Zoom, Facebook, and Instagram help you send text and audio messages or have video calls with your family. 

How can I maintain a supportive immigrant community in the UK?

Use tools such as Expat.com, Reddit, Quora, and InterNations to join, contribute to, and maintain a supportive expat community around you.

What are the coping mechanisms for immigrants missing family?

Speak to a trusted family member and therapist about your challenges, create a sense of home in your new environment, know your emotional triggers, and learn how to manage the emotional rollercoaster.